About Me

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Portland, OR, United States
I am finishing up my midwifery apprenticeship and plan to be a real midwife early in 2014!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Leaving My Comfort Zone

I've been thinking a lot about isolation and question-asking and asking for knowledge from others lately. I've had lots of thoughts about how I have always been a pretty self-made person, and didn't ask for help from anyone. I thought I could figure things out myself, and that this was really preferable to asking others. But as I'm finishing up my time at midwifery school, and approaching an apprenticeship, I am realizing that asking for a little help, which sometimes just comes as asking for information, is such a good thing. I may be a little slow at learning this lesson, but I am learning it! Asking and putting myself out there just opens things up a little, and helps me figure out my next step, and then if I keep going with that train of knowledge then I can end up in the place that I wanted to be, or even somewhere that I didn't expect but is an awesome place to be.

It doesn't always happen that way, of course. I recently made a query into something that meant something to me, only to be slapped back down and punished for it, and it also had repercussions on those I love. It was painful and difficult to deal with. Yet, I can't say I am sorry for having asked it. (I sure was at the time, though!) I am glad to have pushed against that wall and found it to be unbudging, so that I can move on from there and figure out my next step. I would not have known it was unbudging if I hadn't tried it.

Sometimes asking questions just leads to dead ends. No gain, no loss, It still shows me as an inquisitive person, though, and I get practice at asking questions, and learn the right questions to ask for the situation.

So, there's some thoughts for ya on a Wednesday morning, from someone who hasn't blogged in a hundred years, and probably has no readers left. :-) Oh well, it is still good for me to write these things out for myself!


Mimi said...

I'm here, and I think you are fabulous!

monica said...

hey! Im still here! you got me into blogging, so I am here for you! I was wondering how you and the kids are doing, where they all are now in life. Great to hear what you are pondering