Hey, all, here's Elizabeth! Yes, I know I have sadly neglected this blog. I just could not have anticipated how busy and single-focused I'd be when I decided to go back to school at age 40, after 19 years of not doing anything remotely like school! It was a LOT of hard work, but very rewarding. I got my grades today--well, what passes for grades at Birthingway--a "Complete" for each class I took! I am just telling myself it's really acing all my classes. That may not be true but please humor me and let me have my delusions!
So, now that school is over for the term and I have two months off for summer break, I've been thinking about how to create a community for myself. I was married for almost 20 years and, as a married person with children, I've had a built-in social life. I have been at home with my family as a default setting, and perhaps would sometimes go out with friends, but if I didn't have other friends to fall back on I knew I could always hang out with my family. And now I don't have that as a default anymore. Yes, I still spend a lot of time with my kids....but I sometimes crave meeting with adult friends, people who I can be close with who are my peers. And I find that I don't know where to go to create those kinds of relationships. I'm sure it's a common newly-divorced dilemma.
I just went to a movie screening at a local (anarchist) cafe that shows some interesting movies--that was fun, and created discussion, but I wouldn't say I "met" anyone there that I could have a meaningful, ongoing relationship with. Where do people go to find friends? And how does one continue friendships with old friends after the divorce.....seems for some people it's awkward to continue being friends with one or the other, or even worse, both! For whatever reason.
I suppose a huge part of this is that I'm shy about forging new friendships. I always feel like people will think that I'm being too forward, or people won't want to spend a lot of time with me. Perhaps it's a very bad friendship experience I had a couple of years ago. I'd rather curl up in my cocoon and withdraw from the world than to call someone up and see if they want to get together. And then I'm lonely. And then, there's the other problem of people being so busy....and these lonely streaks seem to just come on strong all of a sudden. And then, of course, I crave company *right now*, and people are busy and can't get together.
Please, don't read this wrong--I really am not fishing for anything--I just know my own hang-ups and I would like some ideas from people who've been here before. Also, I just want to say upfront that I do not have any regrets about the decisions that Paul and I made. They were necessary and the right thing to do, and I am not pining for "the old days."
Monday, July 13, 2009
I don't usually post links to the mega-bloggers; I figure they get enough attention already. But this one post from Heather may have single-handedly turned around the economy of doulas and homebirth midwives! Go read here about Heather's story of labor, part one--really, just the lead-up to labor. I can't wait to read the rest--I'll post the link when it comes up.
Dooce on Natural Birth
Dooce on Natural Birth