About Me

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Portland, OR, United States
I am finishing up my midwifery apprenticeship and plan to be a real midwife early in 2014!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Doula Website!

Tada! I have a new website! It's for my doula services and eventually I can add my midwifery services to it. It's not much yet, but it's mine and it's up! Check back to see updates. :-)

Butterfly Birth

Friday, February 13, 2009

Beginnings, begun

I had no idea when I posted my Endings and Beginnings post that I'd get so much attention!  The first day it was up my blog got 133 hits, and the next day was well over 200!  My numbers remain at least double of what they were pre-divorce.  Huh, I guess the way to get people to visit your blog is to do something extraordinary!

Clergy divorces are big news.  I'm told that my blog is the talk of our Metropolis (like a diocese) and perhaps even of the archdiocese.  I didn't make this announcement in order to gain popularity, but you are all welcome to check in here!  Seems like clergy divorces are usually messy and one partner was very hurtful to the other and it causes a huge scandal and he who was set high on a pedestal is now brought down low into the mud.

First off, I want to say that I am doing very well.  We are a week into the "rearrangement" and it's gone fine so far.  I am happy.  Yes, I am HAPPY!  It's been a little disconcerting to me how many people expect me to be sad, upset, angry, even distraught.  Yes, there are moments of sadness and anger.  But mostly I am happy.  

I wonder: is it a *bad* thing for people to remain friends when they divorce?  It seems that some are upset that I am happy and that Paul is happy.  We can't just look at this for what it is, decide that we have grown apart, and decide to move on?  Would it be better if we were at odds, always fighting, and became enemies?  I get the feeling sometimes that some are looking for someone to blame.  One of us must be to blame, right?  Well, no.  We both share "blame" if blame must be assigned.  But mostly, no, we don't assign blame and are content to leave it at "we grew apart."  We just aren't the same people anymore and we don't fit in a marriage anymore.  But hey, we still make great friends!  

I just really, really think this way is so much better for all involved than if we were fighting and hating each other and making life miserable for all those around us.  We still function very well as co-parents and I think the kids do appreciate that.  I would be eaten up by guilt if I felt like we were ruining our kids' lives by being enemies.  

In all honesty, we did have months of fighting.  We had a very difficult year.  We did our misery, and the kids did get dragged into it.  But now, we are no longer in that space and I am so very glad.  
In other news, my student doula practice is finally starting to pick up.  I have a doula partner and we are attending one birth,  a woman who is due this Sunday, and we're talking to another tomorrow about her birth.  I'm so excited to be back into the birth scene!  It's one of those things that has been suppressed in me for so long.  I was very interested in birth after Carissa was born and the power of birth just washed over me.  Even more so when Zac was born at home--then I saw homebirth as even more empowering to women.  And I wanted to enter that world, to help other women to have an empowering birth, but I had two small children, so that dream was put on hold.  I am so glad it's no longer being put on hold!  On the flip side, I'll need to get used to long wakeful nights.  

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Endings and Beginnings

I think it's time that I shared here something deeply personal that's going on in my life. Many of you who are local have probably already heard the news: Paul and I are getting divorced. And you know what? It's not the end of the world. I have always regarded divorce as pretty bad news, but I am seeing our divorce as part of each of our personal growth and commitment to living authentically. We are not the same people we were when we were 20 and 21--well, we are the same people, but those two people have grown and changed and grown and changed some more. I always said that it's amazing that we've always grown *together* when we've grown and changed....and that was true, until it just was not true anymore.

We still love each other and plan to remain very close friends. We will be co-parenting our children. We will still be sharing life to some extent. Paul calls our new relationship "rearranging". And it's true: we are rearranging our lives, but we will still be close.

The kids are doing all right. They took it hard at the beginning but are doing all right now. I move out on Friday and I expect it will be hard on all of us for awhile.

Paul plans to continue to be the priest at Holy Trinity. But I will no longer be presvytera (title for a priest's wife). I am planning on taking a break from parish life for a time, as I don't think anyone there needs me in their face right now. But I do hope to go back at some point. I think we all can learn from each other and help each other along the path.

I will be sharing bits and pieces when I'm ready of what this journey is for me. I hope you will travel this path with me.

Doula Services

I'm hanging out my shingle to let you all know that I am offering doula services now. And if you're one of my first five clients, you'll get those services for absolutely free! No, there's no catch or gimmick. I am currently a student doula and working toward my certification, so I need to attend five births before I'll be qualified for certification. So help me out! If you live in Portland, OR (or the vicinity) and need a doula, or are curious about a doula, and you're pregnant, give me a holler! Please email me at elizadoula@gmail.com.

I'm on track to attend midwifery school in the end of March. One of the prerequisites to entering the program was a labor doula workshop, so I thought it would be a good idea to begin to work in the field now. I'm so excited about my classes! I sent off my registration yesterday.