Fall Term

School is beginning for me again! And on the same day as my kids go back to school as well. It'll be their first full school year. And it's the first term for me where I know the ropes, how to do protocols already, how the system works. I feel like I'll start already knowing how to do this thing this time and we don't have to take the time for all that introductory stuff. We can just get down into the nitty gritty of learnin' how to birth babies. I've already started in on my readings, and found some pretty hairy stuff.....we don't just focus on the plain-jane births, the births that are how births are supposed to be, but the areas that can present problems and how to head them off before they're problems, and deal with them when they are. And all the different variations on "normal" because, as all of you who have birthed a baby know, births don't go as you plan them. You can plan and plan and do all the things necessary to prevent certain things, and all the things necessary to keep things on track....but birth happens how it will happen, and no amount of planning will keep it from happening how it wants to. It's the knowledge of those things and the skills necessary PLUS the ability to watch and wait and let things play themselves out that make a midwife a midwife.

I've had a couple of births this summer, too, and a few more lined up. I've been working toward certification as a doula and I'm two births away! I've got those births lined up....so my certification is in sight! It's been kind of slow-going, getting the clients I need to certify, but now it seems momentum is rising (or could it be that freak snowstorm we had in December....?) and I hope to be able to build up a business of paying customers and do doula work to support myself. Because of all the work I can do right now to support myself, doula is the closest to my ultimate goal. I love the work of birth and being able to support each birthing mother in the work she needs to do.

Where everybody knows your name

Hey, all, here's Elizabeth! Yes, I know I have sadly neglected this blog. I just could not have anticipated how busy and single-focused I'd be when I decided to go back to school at age 40, after 19 years of not doing anything remotely like school! It was a LOT of hard work, but very rewarding. I got my grades today--well, what passes for grades at Birthingway--a "Complete" for each class I took! I am just telling myself it's really acing all my classes. That may not be true but please humor me and let me have my delusions!

So, now that school is over for the term and I have two months off for summer break, I've been thinking about how to create a community for myself. I was married for almost 20 years and, as a married person with children, I've had a built-in social life. I have been at home with my family as a default setting, and perhaps would sometimes go out with friends, but if I didn't have other friends to fall back on I knew I could always hang out with my family. And now I don't have that as a default anymore. Yes, I still spend a lot of time with my kids....but I sometimes crave meeting with adult friends, people who I can be close with who are my peers. And I find that I don't know where to go to create those kinds of relationships. I'm sure it's a common newly-divorced dilemma.

I just went to a movie screening at a local (anarchist) cafe that shows some interesting movies--that was fun, and created discussion, but I wouldn't say I "met" anyone there that I could have a meaningful, ongoing relationship with. Where do people go to find friends? And how does one continue friendships with old friends after the divorce.....seems for some people it's awkward to continue being friends with one or the other, or even worse, both! For whatever reason.

I suppose a huge part of this is that I'm shy about forging new friendships. I always feel like people will think that I'm being too forward, or people won't want to spend a lot of time with me. Perhaps it's a very bad friendship experience I had a couple of years ago. I'd rather curl up in my cocoon and withdraw from the world than to call someone up and see if they want to get together. And then I'm lonely. And then, there's the other problem of people being so busy....and these lonely streaks seem to just come on strong all of a sudden. And then, of course, I crave company *right now*, and people are busy and can't get together.

Please, don't read this wrong--I really am not fishing for anything--I just know my own hang-ups and I would like some ideas from people who've been here before. Also, I just want to say upfront that I do not have any regrets about the decisions that Paul and I made. They were necessary and the right thing to do, and I am not pining for "the old days."

Any suggestions?

Dooce again!

I don't usually post links to the mega-bloggers; I figure they get enough attention already. But this one post from Heather may have single-handedly turned around the economy of doulas and homebirth midwives! Go read here about Heather's story of labor, part one--really, just the lead-up to labor. I can't wait to read the rest--I'll post the link when it comes up.

Dooce on Natural Birth

Just hormones?

I am studying hormones in preparation for tomorrow's big final (plus a lot more things....) and don't have a whole lot to blog right now. But just now, in a little break from studying, I checked in on Dooce, who just gave birth to her second child. And she writes about what it's like for a new mommy of her second child. Oh, yes, all those raw emotions. If you've given birth to more than one child, you know. If you haven't....well, just go read, no matter.

Family of Four

I'm here...

....but not for long. I am winding down on school work--just about to start on the last bit of homework before the end of term! And there will be a Very Long Test. The final for my core class is 31 pages long. That is not a typo! So, just to let you all know I am fine and busy with school and will (maybe) blog more in the summer. I have July and August off of school.

Lovely Landmark Scooter Ride

Yesterday Maria and I did something we hadn't done yet (but have talked about since the fall)--we went on a long scooter ride just for the sake of taking a long scooter ride. We started out from her house in SW Portland and rode down to Lake Oswego, along highway 43 which is just gorgeous wooded roadway. We rode around the lake, looking for routes that would give us lake views, but also got a Lake Oswego homes tour in the process. (If you're not familiar: Lake Oswego has some gorgeous mansions, but we also stumbled upon shoebox-sized cottages.) We finally found the road where you can cross over the little inlets with lots of docks and it looks kind of like Disneyland.

There were so many good smells on the ride, which of course on scooter one can fully appreciate. Cherry blossoms, the heady scent of the conifers, and on our way back through the area around Tryon State Park, it was the damp cool mossy kind of smell. That was where the sky all of a sudden darkened and I thought we'd get poured on.....

But we made it to Maria's house just before the rain started. And then it poured!

This morning I looked at the speedometer on my scooter and saw that somewhere on our ride, I crossed over to 3000 miles on Dora. I have enjoyed having Dora even more than I thought I would! In March, after getting through most of the winter weather, I sold my car. Dora has been just what I needed to get over the hump of needing a car/wanting to go carless.

Seems like a long time...

...since I posted here. So much has happened--or rather, just a lot of school has happened. I am really loving it, and unsure of how much I'm going to be able to post here, as I'm busy reading and going to school. I am learning a lot already--and I have begun posting on my birth blog about what I'm learning as it pertains to pregnancy, birth, midwifery, etc. So if you are interested in such things, check it out!